Sometimes We Have To Let Things Go
Sometimes we have to let things go. Not because we want to, but because life changes and some responsibilities become too heavy to carry. Sometimes we have the strength to carry the weight. But, the work of carrying offsets our balance. Balancing objects can occur when the foundation is stable and boundaries are secure. Balance is the act of putting an object in a steady state of motion so that it does not fall or shift out of balance. Instability is the opposite of balance. Frequent attention must be given to the motion of the object to maintain stability. This applies to objects, responsibilities, actions and even health. But, balance in life is a myth.
Think about the Chinese acrobat. She balances on one arm, . . . then slowly adds a plate that is spinning on a stick. Then another stick, and another plate . . . However, the plates don’t keep spinning on their own. Even though the plates appear perfectly balanced, she must periodically spin them to maintain balance.
There comes a point where more than three or four plates is too much to manage. Many of us live our lives afraid to add a plate, and on the flip side, many of us try to spin too many plates. The stress of too little or too much interferes with relationships, sleep, health and sense of well-being.
Life-Balance Is A Myth
Our lives consist of attempting to balance multiple “plates” in the form of responsibilities or activities around us. Attention is taken from one activity and focused on another until that responsibility or activity is back in balance. This is why balance in life is a myth. We move from object to object, responsibility to responsibility. None of those objects ever remains completely balanced at the same time. As we focus on re-balancing one task, the others slow and begin to fall out of balance. As a husband, father, physician, speaker, entrepreneur and son of God, I wear many hats. I’ve frequently felt like a lone fireman, running from fire to fire with a garden hose, attempting to reset the balance in my responsibilities and put out fires. I know you do too. We’ve had these conversations in my office.
Life-balance is a myth I bought into. It was placed on sale by life’s “well meaning middle-managers” in school and business. I kept thinking that at some point I could attain a perfect balance in all of my care-giving, parenting and relationship activities. Recognizing this myth has helped me make some very important decisions.
Learn To Say “NO”
I am a recovering “nice guy” and part of the “nice guy syndrome” involves understanding the myth of life-balance. Learning to say “no” is not easy. I am learning to set boundaries. I am learning to stabilize foundations. As a healer, I have an innate desire to help everyone, literally everyone. This desire to help frequently comes at the detriment of family and those close to me. The work of healing is seen as a “noble calling” in our society. Because of this, I justified the need to help everyone with large amounts of time at my own expense. I’ve spend hundreds of hours answering questions about health and weight at the expense and burden of myself and my family. Saying “No,” even when an activity offsets needed balance is not easy for some of us.
Good, Better & Best
Part of that boundary setting is looking at those things that are “good, better and best.” It requires looking at the objects, responsibilities and warming fires around us and deciding which ones are good, which ones are better and which ones are best. Balancing some objects and responsibilities are good, but may actually be taking time away from some of the better or best things we could be doing. As we consider various choices in our lives, we need to remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice may be more costly, the much greater value may make it the best choice of all. I’ve had to sit down with myself and my family, and make some challenging decisions.
I am learning to set boundaries. Looking at what is most important in my life at this time isn’t easy. However, it’s been made loud and clear to me that we must be able to forgo “good things” to do those things that are better or best. In medical speak, continually fixing and fine tuning the thyroid hormones doesn’t help when leptin is out of balance.
How Many Psychological Carbs Are In Your Life?
Many of us must realize that many of the good things are “psychological carbohydrates.” The carbs smell good . . . And they taste great. But, forgoing the carbs brings the greatest return in areas of our lives that are most important. Those things that are better or best are more effective at strengthening our lives and those of our families.
Pick The Best Things In Your Life To Balance
One of those decisions is to leave KetoTalk.com. The choice to leave relates specifically to selecting the best things that allow me to focus my time, energy and skills on being a good husband, father, physician and entrepreneur. I’m sure the rumors will surge, and cyberspace will fill with speculation. The truth is that I still have a wonderful relationship with Jimmy Moore, that has not changed. He and I are still great friends. Leaving KetoTalk was a very difficult decision. I will continue working with him on my upcoming book The KetoCure, and we will still be working together on the KetoLiving.com line of supplements. Non-of that will change. What will change is my focus on activities that bring the best value to my patients and my practice while at the same time bringing the greatest value to me and my family.
I love people. I love to help people. Working with thousands of amazing souls in this ketogenic journey, is an immense blessing. Unless I am assasinated by a rogue high-velocity vegan cucumber, I’m not going anywhere. You can find me and work with me here at DocMuscles.com.
How many plates are you spinning? Do you need to let something go? Is the good in your life keeping you from the better or the best?
So, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened and we became great friends.